Top 10 Things to Help You Maintain Your Sanity After Divorce

“Fair” is a matter of perspective. 

What seems fair to you may not seem fair to your spouse, to your children, or to a Judge or jury that doesn’t know you.  No one is likely to be objectively right or wrong about what is or is not “fair.”

Wishing things or people were not the way they are is a tremendous waste of time.

Try to focus on controlling only those things you can control, and changing only those things you can -- and want or need to -- change.

Your life and your divorce are different from anyone and everyone else’s.

You will probably be inundated with supportive advice from family and friends, but you must remember:  What worked for them may or may not work for you.  Take their well-meaning advice as words of comfort and support from someone who cares about you – not as good legal advice!

When you forgive someone else, you’re helping yourself more than you are helping them.

Harboring resentments is like taking poison while hoping that it will cause someone else to die.

Acknowledge and work through your feelings. 

Emotions are your body’s way of releasing pent-up energy.  The more you push emotions away, the more powerful and overwhelming they become.

The only thing we can really count on is that things will change.

When things are the way you want them, be grateful, because they will eventually change.  When things are not the way you want them, be grateful that they will also eventually change.

Treat yourself kindly, and accept kindness from others.

Allow others to do for you what you would do for them, if they needed it.

Live up to your own standards.

The right thing to do is the right thing to do, regardless of how anyone else is acting.  Do it, and you’ll always be able to hold your head up high.

Your kids, your dog, and your Mom still love you!

Some love is unconditional, so revel in it whenever you can.

Remember:  There is life after divorce!

The end of this chapter of your life may well be painful for you, but the possibilities for your new life are endless.  You can and will grieve your loss, but once you realize that you can create your own new reality, a whole new world will open up for you.